Sunday, April 5, 2009

don't pee on my miracle: suggested guidelines for nature

The fact that anything remains from my flower gardening efforts last year is remarkable to me. For a while I was pulling more plants out of the ground, dead, than I was putting them in. But, I have asiatic and day lilies back with a vengeance and a ground cover plant with small, blue flowers spreading and blooming miraculously. Yesterday I came home to discover the mulch surrounding those dainty, precious fowers in disarray. Some of the stems were submerged and clearly whichever feline intruder had disturbed the arrangement had mulch-kicking superpowers. Is it too much to ask that the neighborhood cats, who I graciously allow to frolic in our yard and nap on our porch, don't disturb the one example of beautiful, blue, miracle gardening that I managed to keep from last year? Rule #1: Don't pee on my miracle!

This is akin to Rule #2: Don't crap on my clean car! We scrubbed our cars squeaky clean today after church. My first trip out, the windshield was compromised. Is it too much to ask that birds aim their poo elsewhere? Or bugs keep an eye open for large, gray Honda-Fits recently cleaned? I'll admit to not knowing the pressures of trying to emit digestive waste in mid-flight, but if I have to hold it while stuck in traffic behind some oblivious driver putzing in the left lane, then I assume a bird can manage to hold it until he/she gets over green pastures. Perhaps that's why we have such wonderful highway dividers? It's a pit-stop opportunity. Take it.

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