Thursday, April 14, 2011

thoughts on motherhood: one month in

Overall Impact
* It's not a learning curve; it's a wall. I'm not talking about a climbing wall, I'm referring to a wall of tile drenched in oil - slick and entirely vertical.

* Your living space is a war zone of binkies and burp cloths.

*Burp cloths are designed to protect your clothes from baby vomit. Indeed they do. They provide a space that baby will refuse to vomit on, preferring instead every other available space on your clothes and theirs.

What They Don't Tell You in Childbirth Education Classes
*All those breastfeeding positions for holding baby are a perfectly simple with a plastic doll. Insert a squirming, screaming, flailing infant to the equation and latching at all becomes a miracle, let alone latching correctly.

*Your infant did not attend this class and/or read any of the "how to get your infant to sleep 12 hours straight" and/or adjust their internal clock to the 14 recommended schedules you're supposed to be on for maximum infant development. Deal with it.

2 comments:

  1. Yikes, well at least you'll be a pro for the next one. :P Can't believe it's already been a month! Probably seems like it's been forever for you what with the lack of sleep and all. Hope Emma figures out a sleep pattern soon :)

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  2. Oh my goodness, from afar it looks so beautiful and amazing and the "i can't wait to feel this way"...thank you for the post, even though I'm very happy for the blessing you have it put me back to reality on the reasons why I'm not there yet:) But remember, God wouldn't you give you anything you cannot handle! xoxo

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