Thursday, December 8, 2011

10 indications you might have 'burb smarts

We've all heard of book smarts and street smarts and though Hubby lays claim to both, I've only got a shot at book smarts. That is, until I decided the 'burbs (short for suburbs) had their own mode of operation - 'burb smarts - and I may have a shot with these.

1) If you can rattle off a recommended tree pruner, roof shingler, siding company, chimney sweep, green lawn service or deck without looking at Angie's List, you might have 'burb smarts. Likewise, if you can recount a horror story with at least one of the aforementioned experiences, you might have 'burb smarts.

2) If you know the difference between a porch and a deck, you might have 'burb smarts.

3) If you can spot a door-to-door proselytizing duo three doors down, yell "duck" to anyone in the house, and maintain a plank position on the floor the required 2 minutes after the last door bell/knock, you might have 'burb smarts.

4) If your daily/weekly schedule is based on the timing of trash pick-up, mail delivery, and/or the ice cream truck (don't have to have kids for this one, just sayin'), you might have 'burb smarts.

5) If you define "outdoorsy" as a walk around the block, an afternoon of yard work, or driving to a local park, you might have 'burb smarts.

6) If you define "wildlife" as a rogue hawk, feral cats, or cockroaches, you might have 'burb smarts.

7) If you monitor the  city or county water regulations so that you can report your neighbor with the immaculate garden for watering his/her flowers during a drought, you might have 'burb smarts.

8) If you never have trouble finding parking next to your home - even if you use your massive 2-car garage for storage instead of cars - you might have 'burb smarts.

9) If you can identify the bark of each dog in your neighborhood (and know their owners by first name), you might have 'burb smarts.

10) If your home (inside and out) looks like you ransacked a party supply store for Valentines Day, Easter, 4th of July and October-December, you might have 'burb smarts.

Come on, what are some others? You know you want to.

8 comments:

  1. If you can drive through a sub-division and accurately assess square-footage and lot size of each house - 'burb smarts.

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  2. HA HA HA!!! THESE ARE BRILLIANT!!

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  3. Okay Dad, that's taking it to the next level :)
    @ Deborah: it's amazing what a little fresh air does for some creativity - guess I should get some more of it. Love your stories - I'm guessing the 'burb smarts in Niger might be a tad different :)

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  4. Glad to know I dont have burb smarts...maybe one day, no rush though!

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  5. If you never pay full price for groceries due to couponing, sales stalking, or membership card discounts you might have 'burb smarts.

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  6. @Anush Djan - no rush, we still need to find our houses next to each other so we can get our rocking chairs on the porches :)
    @Sarah - yes! and that's one I have too - even better!

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  7. @ Georgie: I may have to add your Bunco (sp?) group somehow to that list...there should probably be an entirely different list for SAHM's in the 'burbs.

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